Resolution

Interesting word, that.

Re- solution.  To find the solution, again. 

Appropo, then, that we try again and again to solve everything, every year, with plans and dreams and promises and resolutions.

It is December 31st, 10:17 pm, and it's time for my annual trip down that road of resolve.

I've learned this year from my Thirty Days experience that small steps are powerful, that positives are easier than negatives, and that I can only add do much to my life at any one time.

And so with that in mind, I will greet 2012:

1. Be Mindful.   Of what I put in my body, of what I do with time, of what I say to my children.

2. Be Patient.  With my children, with the pace of life, with myself.  Know that change starts small and change takes time.

3.  Be Grateful.  See and feel and know the blessings in my life every moment of every day.  The blessing of life itself.

4.  Be present.  Focus on the now, this moment.  Let the past rest, let the future unfold.  Plan for it, prepare for it, wonder at it, and let it be. Be. 

I think that's it.

Happy New Year, all. May it unfold beautifully and with joy.

December 2

So.


Anything for 30 days is not quite as easy as one might think, apparently. 

I kind of fell off the wagon in November.  I blame 2 weeks of plague upon our house followed by the onset of the holiday season with its ensuing company, cooking, and cleaning.

Only one thing to do when you fall off the wagon:  Get back on.

I had a birthday a couple of days ago.  Thirty-five, which seems kind of impossible to me.   The pace of life flying by is astonishing and numbing and humbling.  And it brings into absolute clarity the need to savor, to drink up, to love it all.

And to thank people.

There's this lovely technology-age tradition that's sprung up-- the Facebook birthday greeting.  Facebook reminds you that it's someone's birthday, you click their name and write a quick note on their wall, people feel loved.  It's really pretty wonderful, and very efficient. Generally, the birthday-ee closes the day with an artfully worded post thanking their friends for the well-wishes, and that's that.

My birthday fell on a Wednesday this year and seeing as Wednesday is pretty much the longest day of the week for me, I wasn't anticipating a very festive day.  But then I awoke at 5am to lovely homemade cards from my family and a surprising number of wall posts on Facebook, and the day was suddenly off to a lovely start.

As I drove to the gym I vowed that I would thank each and every person who had taken the time, unbidden, to wish me a happy birthday.  Thank them personally, and meaningfully; bring a bit of light and warmth to their day too.

I began to regret that choice as the day went by and the birthday wishes rolled in.

By evening I had over 50 people to respond to.  It took me almost an hour follow through on my vow.

It was one of the most worthwhile hours I've spent in a long, long time.

Looking at each person's picture, name; thinking about them and how they have affected my life.  Reading over their page to catch up on their lives, really thinking about their posts and not just skimming.  Writing a genuine compliment for them, telling them, directly, what I love about them, why I am glad they are my friend.

This new virtual world of ours, thrilling in its immediacy, its connectivity, tempts us to skim the surface, to rush through life, rush past people, skip ahead to what's next.  Efficient, exciting, instant.

It takes time to go deeper, to slow down and dig past the virtual and find the real.  These people, these real people, these friends.  Technology has reconnected me to many and I am so very grateful to it.  But I need to remember that a quick pause for real gratitude, a moment taken for real connection, is what allows me to use the technology to add to my life, rather than the other way around....

Plus, you should have seen all the comments I got back.

You get out what you put in.

And this December, I will be trying to put in more.  I will be using technology to add real connection to my life, to help me savor and appreciate the people who make my life rich and beautiful. 

Every day I will try to send an e-mail, write a message or post a comment that will make someone's day. I will use my words to deepen connections.  I will use the virtual to strengthen the real. 

November 19

We've enjoyed ourselves a sick day today.  A good, old fashioned one.

Poor little Jack-man got hit by that same Mack truck last night, on the way back home from Legacy Village in fact.  In the car.  Good times. 

Moments like last night make me feel like I am really not cut out for this parenthood stuff.

Spent today making up for it.  

We huddled close to home all day to let the boy recuperate, and to take it easy on ourselves, too, as both Nat and I are pitiful coughing, voiceless things. It turns out, we don't usually do that-- just stay home. 

It was a long day. 

Not a bad day, all told;  no more puking after about 1am, and both kids were pretty happy all day.  But today certainly tested the limits of how long one can play aimlessly with a collection of three Bakugan at a 4-year-old's request. God love them, my children are sweet and loving and very amusing-- yet I am glad that most days allow me to enjoy them in settings beyond the walls of the playroom.    It did feel good, though, to know that I was giving them my undivided attention for such extended periods of time, no outside commitments or schedules or plans to interrupt us.   They deserve that more often.  They're very good little children.

That said, we did have a wonderful walk around our neighborhood this morning, wherein we enjoyed the best 30 minutes of the day, weatherwise, and collected pinecones.  We also went to Target, where we purchased a Christmas tree.  We bit the bullet and upgraded our artificial tree, to use this year when we plan to be out of town over Christmas.  Sigh.  The box is in our living room and I have to admit, I can see how people get caught up in the obscenely-early Christmas start-up.  I kind of want to set it up right now.  It's over there, calling to me with its promise of lights and magic and warmth and memory, that box of plastic greenery. 

But I shall wait.  At least until next weekend.  Because Thanksgiving is in 5 days, can you believe it.  I plan to be grateful that we are all healthy again. 

November 17

I've been a bad blogger.  Or at least, a sick one. Shortly after enjoying that nice, normal Monday, I was hit by the Mack-truck of illness and was down for the count for a good 36 hours.  Feeling much better today, thank you.

Today I am happy that a sore throat and nagging cough, by comparison, don't seem so bad.

One silver lining to a bout with stomach flu:  no worries about overindulging on the sweets for the past few days, that's for sure. I'm going to try to get my behind to the gym tomorrow if only for a quick weigh-in...

I think my musings on sweetness this evening may cross over entirely into the zone of my children, so hop over to Mommy's Blog (see, About the Kids, at right) for a scintillating recount of the things my little darlings say and do...

November 14

Today:

Rainy.

Warm.

Ordinary.

Monday.

To be celebrated for its normalcy more than anything.  A quiet day at work, a quiet evening at home.  Not too much water in the basement after the storm.

The icing on the cake today-- Ivy's giggle and prancing dance, and her obsession with hats.  Jack sitting quietly paging through books, "reading the pictures."   Making the most of my double planning time, and a math meeting that was nigh-tolerable.

The blessings of an ordinary life.  Off to bed early to keep the good thing going...

November 13

What a wonderful weekend.   What wonderful weather.  Kind, balmy days.  Crisp piles of leaves dancing across the sidewalks.  A happy boy who is finally feeling better from his week of malaise.

And today-- gatherings of friends galore:  A birthday party for Jack's preschool friend Scarlett, Second Sunday Soup, and dinner swap...

Much sweetness to celebrate (along with some to eat-- homemade apple crisp and cookies from Corbo's bakery?  how could I not?)...

This morning, a wonderful walk in our neighborhood; a trip to the park that turned into a ramble along the edge of the gully, and then exploring down to the stream, the quiet of grand old trees and English ivy everywhere.

A relaxing morning with the Sunday paper and children who played quietly together, off and on.  A clean house and time to play with my boy.

The chance to meet and bond with some other preschool parents, while enjoying the antics of 17 children dashing through a birthday party.  The looks on the 4 year old faces as they held their "freeze" poses during the games; Ivy joining the dancing; children crowding around the couch, closer and closer as the presents were opened...

A small, warm gathering for Second Sunday Soup-- we all fit (sort of) around a table!   Candles lit and conversation and wine and desserts; children drawing in the living room, playing in the yard, shrieks of laughter abounding.

Ending the evening with an hour and half spent with the dinner swap crew.  Tea and cookies and the talking-over-one-another conversation born of familiarity.  Delicious all around.

Our little faux-fire is burning cheerily away, and four candles still flicker in the wall sconce.  The dog is snoring next to me on the couch, and the laundry is folded all around us.  I am not in a hurry to go to bed...

November 10

Tomorrow is 11-11-11.  We are eagerly anticipating jumping 11 times at 11:11.

Why not?

I look forward to this eagerly despite that fact that Nat is upstairs soothing a sobbing boy with a slight fever and raging case of conjunctivitis.

I continue to stand firmly on my new resolution, which is shifting slightly to be:  "I refuse to let life get in the way of enjoying life!"

So there.

Long day all told, for everyone.  Nat had 13 hours of shepherding the dynamic, and 1/2 snotty, duo around the town, while I spent that time juggling a nonstop day and 3 hours of very chatty parents at conferences.

The sweetness of today was hidden in little nooks.  Like Nat's stolen moments with a snuggly boy in our bed for 20 minutes this morning.  The upside of a sick boy.

A Chipotle dinner provided by our PTA, enjoyed hurriedly in the lounge at 3:45, a brief splash of camaraderie to brighten the afternoon.

Happy smiles on the faces of parents reporting their child's pride in bringing home a wonderful report card, rejoicing in progress, saying their child looks forward to school. The reward that goes so much beyond a salary.

The promise of a half day at school and a resale event in the afternoon tomorrow.

Life is good.  See?

November 9

Continuing to need occasional baked goods to get me through the day.  I blame the time change.

Tomorrow, a good run in the morning and then a 12 hour workday should get me back on track... hooray for conferences!

What to savor today?

The music we are learning for our Christmas concert with West Shore is blessedly easy.  We deserve this.  And is it lovely to feel that we are actually making music, already, even as we sight read through a piece for the first time.  A moment of feeling competent; a true treat...

Groups of teachers congregating in halls at 7:30, at 4:00.... not going off their separate ways but coming together.  Nevermind that the coming-together is to gripe and bemoan our current mutual frustrations.  In the midst of the griping are stories of our children, off-color humor, glimpses of the people behind the teacher-masks we all wear.  And that part is lovely.  And I'm not sure it would be happening if not for all the frustrations.  So there's a silver lining for you.

An evening of at-home with my kids... finger painting on the kitchen floor, splashy bubble bath, pizza (peeba!) for dinner, running pell-mell around the house pretending to jump off a raft (aka the dining room rug) and swim in the current, giggles galore...They're fun, these two.

November 7

It's been staggeringly nice outside these past few days.  I think I would be doing wonderfully on my 30 day challenge if I could just stay outside, all the time.  Fall air, the smell of leaves brushing my face, just cool enough and just warm enough at the same time...  how can one crave anything else, in that sort of sensory heaven?

Daggone work, getting in the way.  There's an air of discontent at Orchard these days that can only be countered with a bite of the birthday cake being shared at the meeting, and an iced coffee for lunch.  Perhaps if we had more windows we could open, we'd all feel better...?  Sigh. You know the year is hard hard hard when people come in from a perfect weekend and say it was just "okay." 


The general glum-ness almost made me feel guilty when I answered the obligatory "how was your weekend" queries with a resounding "WONDERFUL!" 

But how could I not?  It was wonderful, all around.  The perfection of the weather (have I mentioned it's been staggeringly nice out???); Sunday breakfast complete with a paper; children in leaf piles and children on walks and children on beaches and in sandboxes and on slides; going to a play with Jackie, snuggling with Ivy, walking with my dog; lunch out with Nat and a new set of Danish modern coffee mugs.... eating dinner with my kids while we watch Sesame Street, laughing and giggling and Ivy naming every animal and character she sees; a walk through the balmy fall darkness after supper, an excited boy jumping into leaves and hiding behind trees at every turn; a quiet house and a cup of tea and a moment to myself to cap the day...

Could life be any sweeter? I am so grateful for what I have.   I will boldly refuse to let anything-- be it work or a somewhat un-met 30 day challenge-- keep me from savoring it.

November 5

Stayed up late last night watching 3 episondes of Lost and somehow couldn't manage to find 5 minutes to blog. 

Sorry about that.

A bit off the wagon today. I figured it just wouldn't be right to celebrate Lillian and Naomi's birthday without a bit of homemade apple pie.  Though, in retrospect, I think our hours at the birthday party were plenty sweet, all on their own. 


Its amazing to think it's been two years since that breathless day when our "extended family" welcomed Melinda's girls, two little beings in a rush to enter this world, tiny two-pound things who were tenacious and strong and perfect....  Just as they are today.  Two darling girls in party dresses, the one with the impish smile climbing alternately on chairs and into laps; the little actress, not feeling well, snuggly and sweet and very excited about new play food.   A study in contradictions, these twins who couldn't be more different, these children of our hearts.  And joining them-- beautiful Tommy and little Matthew, army crawling his way through the world; Jack and Greg, tumbling through bubbles and wrestling with Nat; and Ivy Jane, the "third twin"-- the noise and distraction and beauty of all these little people in one house. 

But the sweetest part of this evening, and of the little 2-year-olds we celebrated? Knowing, and seeing, and feeling in that room with us, all the joy they bring to their parents and their family.  The way they complete a family, and bring people together. 
Its awe-inspring to look around and see the continuity of generations moving forward, and know the hope and the dreaming and the glimpse of immortality that our children bring; to know the importance of them, these children.  To be humbled by the task of parenting them, even as we run a bit ragged behind them, or cut up their lasagna, or change their diapers, or just hold them for a moment in our laps. 

It's amazing, and huge, and staggering-- and so very mundane and busy and cacophonous, too-- this business of being a parent.  And no sweeter way to celebrate it than with perfect little individual cakes, balloons, sprinkles, and presents. 

Oh, and it was a perfectly, stunningly lovely fall day, too.  I had this wonderful gift of a half hour in which Corydon and I--just the two of us!-- walked around the 4 blocks of our neighborhood, me sipping from a travel mug of iced coffee and inspecting the architecture, Cor meandering nearby, my little companion.  Its not so much "walking a dog", taking her out.  Its more "walking with a dog."  I had her leash and collar with me-- in my pocket.  I love my dog.

November 3

Its been a lees-sweet day, all told.  Less sweets eaten-- better every day!-- and less sweet to write about, I think... nothing like a full day math meeting, during report card week, to bring out the boring, cardboard-taste of life.

But, I'll try.

Sharing a laugh with my son as we drew together on a big piece of cardboard on the floor.  And then, walking by the mess of scribbles and lines and seeing... art.

The way Ivy runs, lifting each leg so high, dancing through the rooms with that light in her eyes and curls bouncing, turning and teasing and dashing away.  She's a bit of a pill, these days, demanding and vocal about what she wants and even louder when you tell her no... but, oh, that little run-and-turn-and-twinkle of hers!

She can say "mine" now, you know.  But she can also say, "nice."

Getting the kids to bed 20 minutes earlier than normal and finding that Antiques Roadshow just happened to be on.  Man, I love that show.    Except for when the people seem completely unimpressed at the worth of their strange item, casually nodding their heads at its newly acquired $8,000 price tag.  But I still love that show.

Today, apparently, is not a day to wax poetic.  But life is still good.  I am snuggled on a couch next to a beautiful dog and our little faux fire is chugging away.  My wonderful husband just brought us chips and salsa and I really love Lady Grey tea.  Watching Grey's Anatomy and thinking about wonderful people in my life and how I ought to give cards to more of them.

I suppose that wishing for more hours in a day is just proof positive of how good life really is, right?

November 2

We've got to get the Halloween candy out of the house. 

I mean, seriously, how can I be expected to say no to Dots, of all things???

Other than that?  Not bad.

Had a great spinning class this morning.  The shaky-legs-going-down-the-stairs-after-class sort of great.  Was a good girl at school, snacking on almonds while I worked on paperwork. Nice long walk with the kids this evening.  So I'm going to call it even.

You know what's sweeter than a box of Dots?

61 sunny-perfect degrees on a Cleveland Heights afternoon, gracious trees dropping their leaves artfully, angling them just so to catch the yellow light and filter it down over houses, nestled in browns and greens with Jack o'lanterns still dressing their front steps.  Blue sky above and a little boy pointing out to me each white line made by an airplane. "Or maybe a rocket, mommy!"  Soft fall air and more neighbors to stop and meet and greet and friendly dogs sniffing and playing and a sticky-fingered baby joyously nomm-ing on a lollipop, content to watch and smile. 

It was a nice evening, here.

Hope yours has been, too.

November 1

Not the best day, not the worst.  Consider it a "taper" from the orgy of sugar that was Halloween.  A couple of cookies at school today, because I get hungry at school and, there were cookies.

Note to self:  be better prepared with good snack options to keep on desk at school.

Also, note to readers:  I'm not talking ZERO sugar here.  Just to make that clear.  I mean, the generic corn chex I had this morning, which taste pretty much like corn and not sweet at all, still had 5 grams of sugar.

But, I will try again tomorrow, to avoid the cookies.

Today's sweetness:

The luscious lines of "Infant Lowly, Infant Holy" tonight at choir,  even if it feels too early to be singing Christmas music.

The sunshine slanting long-shadowed through the trees as we ambled down Somerton, chatting with neighbors and following two kids on bikes (or off, as the case may be for Miss Ivy-Stops-a-lot...).

The hugs from my children when I got home from work.

Not having any meetings at 3:00 for the past two days!  Being able to tidy my room, prep for the next day, and still leave at 4.  It's the little things in life...

The sun.  Did I mention the sun?

My snuggled, warm, tired, jowly dog. I love her.

My wonderful husband who makes me expresso to welcome me home.

Being regaled with stories by Fiona on our drives home.

The connections we make, with people in this world, the little moments each day, laughs and smiles and shared opinions.

The fact that it's the season for blazers and scarves and knee high black books.  This is the good stuff.

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

Unless at the bottom some sweetness lie
who cares for all the crinkling of the pie?

A line from my most recent book club selection ( a delightful murder-mystery which incidentally shares a name with this post) that is somehow fitting for my next 30 days.

That's right, back in action for November.  October was a bit of a bust.  Turns out, dieting is as boring and unfulfilling to blog about as it is to carry out.  The timing of that challenge was a bit off, too, so close to the beginning of the school year, with all the trials, tribulations, stresses and general malaise thereof.  I wasn't able to add anything to my life (as in, the time and energy it takes to plan and prepare properly for a controlled diet plan), and the vagueness of the goal allowed me free reign to cheat.

So I threw in the towel and went back to life as usual.


And October blurred by, almost unnoticed, in a rush of mundanity.

Enough of that.  Time to make life memorable again.

My November challenge is inspired in part by the quote above, and in part by an article in some random women's magazine I picked up at the gym.  In this article, the author attempts to counter her sugar addition by quitting all refined sugar, cold turkey.  Sound a bit familiar?

I was excited to successfully curb my own candy addiction in the spring with our original diet, but I have had a tendency to turn to baked goods in times of weakness, since then.

So this month, I'm going to try to cut something OUT of my life rather than adding anything in: No extra refined sugar, if I can help it.

I figure this shouldn't take any extra planning.  Just a LOT of willpower.

But what's a little willpower among friends?

To help out a bit, I am also, simultaneously, going to use my blogging time to look for the sweetness in the bottom of the pie-- the sweetness of life itself, far deeper and richer than any glazed donut can offer.

Ok, maybe not ANY glazed donut. I mean, there's Krispy Kreme right off the conveyor...

At any rate, tomorrow.  We'll give it a shot.  Join me, and I'll try to throw in a bit of gratitude in addition to boring sugar-free updates.  A bit of sweetness to make it all worthwhile.

October 5 and 6

I think I would be doing better with this whole 30 day diet if I wasn't so exhausted and disgruntled by the whole work/life/work  routine these days.  This leads to coffee runs and sneaking in extra chocolate and having a snack just for the comfort of it.

Also-- dieting, it turns out, if unfulfilling as a 30days blog challenge.   Nothing good to write about.  Promotes whining, or confessions, or boring litanies of food. Or all three.

I am beginning to regret this choice and yet.  I've committed to it so I'd best make the best of it.  I keep thinking to myself "Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day, a more conscious day.  I'll actually skip the snacks, actually cut out refined sugar long enough to feel the positive effects...."  Sigh.

On a positive note I DO think I drank a bit more water today than I had been.

Baby steps.

On to a new day tomorrow.

October 5

I am too busy to drink water.  That's the verdict today.

I will try again tomorrow.

Also it is 10:30pm and I am hungry.  Sigh.  At least breakfast comes quickly.

Tomorrow morning:  Spinning class.  Going for a stellar eating day to follow it up.  Wish me luck.

October 3

Verdict today:  not too bad.

I did a weigh in this morning at the gym and in the spirit of full disclosure I'm putting it out there:  152 1/2

This is about 2 pounds up from the low point last spring so I'm feeling that this new 30 days of mine is well-timed.  My goal is to be under 150, with 145 being something to shoot for.

Something I did well today:  I stuck to my premeasured snacks until I got home at 5:00.  And even then I didn't go overboard.

Something I can improve on:  A dinner out, even if it was Panera, is bound to wreak havoc on things.  Also, I had some teddy grahams just now.  It turns out I am going to need to go to bed earlier if I am going to cut out the evening snacks entirely.

A goal for tomorrow:  64 ounces of water.

October 2

I am finding I am missing my gratitude journal.

I thought it might be difficult, doing a 30 days that required adding something in to my already jam packed life.  But 30 days makes a habit, it seems, and I miss the space that is left without it.

This new 30 days, it is going to take some adjustment.  It is a 30 days of subtraction rather than addition and I think it is going to be harder.  In a lot of ways.  Harder to track, harder to celebrate, harder to check off as "done".  Harder because watching my diet all day long takes a lot longer than a 5 minute journal entry, it turns out.  And harder because what is being subtracted, is something I love.  Namely, food.

So my goal each day of the 30 days is simple. Nat and I want to go back to the diet we used with such success in the spring, and whittle off the next 5 pounds or so.  I'm allowing myself a bit of leeway from the 1600 calorie plan.  The idea is, follow it to a T for Breakfast, Lunch and Snack requirements, then allow myself a dinner of my choosing.   So far, mixed success.  Today, in fact, was declared a Non-Diet day as we were heading to a birthday party and nothing says "good times" quite like having to refuse pizza and cupcakes.  It was a good day, and it was good pizza, and tomorrow is a new day and a new week and I am going to stick to this.


But in the meantime, I'm going to give myself a sentence.

Today I am grateful for houses full of children and babies and presents and laughter, for rainy-day fall drives down country roads and memory lane, for coffee shared in the car and candle-light whispering on the walls of our home.   Welcome, Fall.

September 30

I am grateful for these past 30 days, which have been just what I've needed.

I may well keep this up.  We'll see.

October will bring 30 days of conscious and conscientious eating and I am trying to be grateful in advance for how good I'll feel because of it.  Even if I think I am missing September's 30 days, already.

Today, I am grateful that the rain held off until we were just about ready to leave Hale Farm.  I am grateful for the patient and friendly service at Chick-Fil-A.  I am grateful that my 3:00 math group went more smoothly today.  I am grateful for lad back dinners and happy children making messes in a playroom and comfortable time spent with the best of the best of friends.

I am grateful for the love I am feeling in my heart just now, as I think about my day and the people who have been a part of it.  This month has been a lot about people, and all the love, and my kids of course.  And the weather.

But mostly, it's been about time.  Time, and the glory of it.  How lucky we are to have each day, even the worst days, certainly the best days, most especially the ordinary days in between...



Collection of "last lines" from each post this month...


I am grateful for what I have and for what I have yet to reach.
I am grateful for three day weekends. This is the way life should be....
I am grateful for delicious grilled chicken and salad, for the abundance of food, for coffee with cream, and the blessing of time to enjoy it all.


I am grateful for friends.  I am grateful for time.  I am grateful for the chance to sit with my feet up for a few moments.  I am grateful to be home.
I am grateful that a bed and a new day tomorrow await.
I am grateful for graham crackers dipped in milk


I am grateful for sunshine peeking out from behind a cloudy week.
I am grateful for how much I laughed today.
I am grateful for all the ways the stars have aligned in my life.  Even when I am tired.


I am grateful for my children who love to play together, all of a sudden.  
I am grateful for the chance to affirm that yes, I've got my priorities straight.
I am grateful that tomorrow is Friday, though the weeks are starting to fly precipitously fast all of a sudden and I think I would be just as grateful for more Thursday, to tell the truth.
I am grateful that I am not trying to entertain the queen this weekend, that's for sure.
I am grateful that the weekend is not over yet.


I am grateful for hot tea and our faux-fireplace on a chilly evening. 
I am grateful that this give me the excuse to look for a larger dining room table. 
I am grateful for all the joy and laughter in my life.
I am grateful for the body I have, in this moment of my life, and I will choose to its beauty and its strength.  
I am grateful for quiet evenings and early bedtimes.


I am grateful for all the richness and fullness of my life, one event scheduled tight against the other with mere minutes to spare...
I am grateful for the opportunity to bring my focus back to where it belongs. 
I am grateful I had more than 5 minutes to write tonight.




Thank you all for sharing this month with me.  I hope you'll stick around for the next 30 days, too.  Have you started your own 30 days yet?  Link me to your blogs so I can support you too!

September 29

Tonight I am grateful for so much.  Five minutes may not cut it, but I'll try.

I am grateful for the gift of a midweek day off with my time and my kids all to myself.  I am grateful for adventures and trains and the very kind volunteer conductors who helped me get the stroller up and down the stairs. 

I am grateful for my well-behaved children, for their laughter and curiosity and engagement.  I am grateful for passengers and passers-by who are kind and gracious and complimentary, who play peekaboo with my baby and smile at my boy.  I am grateful for the nice man who let Jack hold the coyote pelt for a very long time.  I am grateful for my little scientist of a boy and the way he just soaks up the world.

I am grateful for picture-perfect front yard gardens and red water-pumps in the side yards of meticulous century homes. 

I am grateful for train tables in restaurants and kind hostesses who seat mommas right near them so kids can play and mommas can drink their coffee.  I am grateful for coffee.  I am grateful for my kids who can play at a train table together.  I am grateful for my little love of a daughter, flirting and chasing and charming everyone she meets; kissing babies and laughing and daring life to keep up. 


I am grateful for lovely evenings with friends, for saying "We should do this more often" and really meaning it, for the gift of kindred spirits and bonding over our shared parenting experiences.  For the mutual support and the laughter and for seeing our truly adorable children playing together in the other room.

I am grateful for the people who have taken the time to tell me how this month of gratitude has touched them.  I am grateful that it is not just my own life I am changing. 

I am grateful I had more than 5 minutes to write tonight.

September 28

Getting near the end of the month.  Crazy.  I have to say, I have enjoyed this month of gratitude.  I've been grateful for it, in fact.  I've been grateful for the sense of obligation that comes from having a public forum, which pushed me to take that pause each night, to record my day in the best possible light.  Sugar coating my life for a month?  Perhaps.  But isn't everything better with sugar?  Why not see things as rosy, I say.

That said, today's musings:

I am grateful for Rosh Hashana-- for the holy day it is to many friends and neighbors, and for the fact that I have tomorrow off.

I am grateful that there is such a wealth of activity, scenery, and seasonal events in my city as to make it seem like there just aren't enough weekend days in the fall. 

OK, there are never enough weekend days, period.

But isn't it wonderful to have one's options over-full?  The hardship of decision-making is softened somewhat when the choices are all wonderful things.

 I am grateful to my son's Pre-K teacher who, in one day, taught Jack 4 yoga poses ("yogo class!" he called it...) as well as most delightful little song about buying bubblegum.  Perhaps these aren't the most earthshattering of accomplishments, in the grand scheme of things...but they both made him so happy and proud.  I love it.

I am grateful for the fact that Ivy went to bed quietly and sweetly tonight. 

I am grateful for brisk walks in the almost-rain and the soft fall air. 

I am grateful for quick trips to the library, for my two children who navigate the space independently and confidently.  I am grateful they love books.  I am grateful for their laughter on the library bridge.  I am grateful for simple evenings focused on my children.

I am grateful for the opportunity to bring my focus back to where it belongs.

September 27

I am grateful for the energizing effect of singing.  I am grateful for the genius of Mozart, the way the notes flow, the absolute sense of it and the magic it makes.  I am grateful for that one line, regina coeli, alto and tenor voices and the blend-- it's heaven indeed.

I am grateful that I will have my planning period tomorrow instead of a meeting.  Nevermind the meeting I have over lunch.  I'll take what I can get.

I am grateful for Tuesday afternoons, for a coffee date with my husband and family dinner with my mom.  I am grateful for homemade spaghetti sauce and my two kids playing on the piano together. 

I am grateful for sunny mild afternoons.

I am grateful for all the richness and fullness of my life, one event scheduled tight against the other with mere minutes to spare, but each event is good, you know?  When people, those random acquaintances, ask "How have you been,"  I answer, "Busy.  Busy.  But good."  And I mean it.

And I am grateful for that.

September 25 and 26

Tonight, sleep trumps gratitude. Not that I am not grateful. No, I am grateful for many, many things. But I am not sure my eyes will stay open for the rest of this sentence, much less a whole post. So, more tomorrow...

September 24

I am grateful for the gift of a sunny fall Saturday.  For Fall Harvest Festivals and Tractor shows and the children's amazement at the inner workings of motors.  I am grateful for hay mazes and corn mazes and crowds of littles wandering through them all.

I am grateful for a day spent "out and about", avoiding housework entirely.

I am grateful for my affectionate little girl, for the constant streams of hugs and great bit "mah!" kisses.

I am grateful for silly little overpriced pony-ride circles, for the joy and confidence on my son's face when he realized he really could do it.

I am grateful for the light in my daughter's eyes when she sees an animal, the way she pressed herself against the fence to get closer to the "nay nays" and the "seeee". 

I am grateful for a quiet ride in a horse-drawn wagon, around the perimeter of the farm, my two happy kids sitting on the bench seat with me, a delightful older couple for company, a moment out of time, lulled by the rhythm of the draft-horse walk. 

I am grateful for quiet evenings and early bedtimes.

September 23

I feel like  need to set the stage just a little bit for this post.  This morning I had a good run at the gym, my first "4 mile Friday."  Took my tired, sweaty self into the locker room and went for my quick weight check before my shower.  Sure enough, stiiiiillll stuck at 151, where I've been since, oh, I don't know... June??  I know, I know, I'm not REALLY dieting anymore, and I've only just started exercising more than 2-3 days per week.  But still.

Bleh.

Went into my shower, and the rest of my morning, feeling disgruntled with my body, flabby belly and aging skin and all.

But then I got to thinking about what I'd be posting tonight, what to focus my gratitude on, here at the end of the week. 

And I decided a paradigm shift was in order.

Today, I am going to dwell in some gratitude for my body.

I am grateful for this body I have, for its life and breath and vigor.  I am grateful for two strong legs that can walk and run (indeed, 4 miles, at an under-10-minute-mile pace, no less!) and climb and stretch and keep up with children.  I am grateful for two strong arms that can hold babies and children and dogs and hugs for those I love.  I am grateful for two good hands that can type and cook and draw and write, cut and tie and caress and hold other hands.  I am grateful for my healthy lungs and the steady beat of my heart and blood that flows unfettered through my veins.

These are things I take for granted. I am grateful that I am lucky enough to do that.

I am grateful for this body that has grown and birthed and nurtured two babies, that has brought two amazing little humans into this world.  This body works miracles.  This body holds life and creates and sustains and gives and it is amazing.

I am grateful for the stretch marks and unsightly bulges and new shapes and curves that seem to be a part of me now, because they remind me that this body is not just for me, it has a job to do and it is doing that job.  It is a body that has been pregnant or nursing (or both) for nearly 5 years straight, a body working on 5 short hours of sleep most nights... and still it can run in the morning. 

"Target weight" be damned.  I am grateful for the body I have, in this moment of my life, and I will choose to its beauty and its strength. 

September 21 and 22

I am grateful for friends and playdates that make Wednesday nights more fun, for trips to soggy wet playgrounds, for dogs rolling in the mud and babies who ask for "mo WEEEENG" and giggle as they fly through the air. 

I am grateful that I do NOT have a 4 month old and an 18 month old at the same time, all the time.  Five minutes of that was plenty for me!

I am grateful that my son has friends and enjoys playing with them.  I am grateful for having three children playing peacefully together in our playroom, little voices and little laughs and toys everywhere.  I am grateful for the big boys who look after the little ones, and for the little girl who mimics everything they do. I am grateful for the little glimpse into the future I get as I watch them play.


I am grateful that Jack loves stories, makes predictions about text, begs to hear another chapter of Magic Treehouse so that he can find out what happens.  I am also grateful that he loves documentaries.  And that he tells us about continents shifting and plate tectonics and says "I learned it from the doctor-memories, mommy!"

I am grateful for all the joy and laughter in my life.

September 19 and 20

Yesterday's list was short anyways. 

It was a long day that I was grateful to have started with a good, long, hard run.  Because at least that was productive.

I was grateful that my two little darlings were not any more uncomfortable than they were after all their shots yesterday.

I was also grateful to have a continuous 5 hours of sleep thanks to Nat letting me sleep upstairs in my office nest.  Amazing that 5 continuous hours can actually feel refreshing...

Today, some more:

I am grateful I started my day with a run again.  I have missed, in some strange way, working out every day.  I might get back to that.

I am grateful I worked with my students, all day long, without meetings interrupting until 3pm.

I am grateful that the sun came out this afternoon.

I am grateful for the music of Haydn and Mendelsohn and Mozart and the luscious richness of chords layered under a simple hymn.

I am grateful for car rides home with the wonderful Fiona, the most inspiring 80-something I've had the pleasure to chauffeur around.


I am grateful for the silly, ridiculously good TV show I get to come home to. 

I am grateful for my warm and comfy house that I get to come to.  Even if it is heaped with laundry right now and cluttered with children's toys. 

I am grateful for the children's toys, piles of books and a stray doll stroller and a dining room table so littered with markers and hotwheels and magazines that there's hardly room for eating.

I am grateful that this give me the excuse to look for a larger dining room table.

September 18

I am grateful for the shining perfect blue-sky day we were given today.

I am grateful for pleasant surprises and down-home comfortable art fairs and the chance to make clay sculptures with my son.

I am grateful for all the wonderful places we've lived and the connections we made, and kept.

I am grateful for impromptu picnics at magical parks, for children climbing rocks and scrambling through "hollow logs", and especially for feeding ducks.  I am grateful to all the ducks who came to our little buffet and made it wonderful for our children.

I am grateful for my friends, and for the time and leisure to spend with them. I am grateful for the support of my husband who put the kids to bed so I could have that time and leisure.

I am grateful for hot tea and our faux-fireplace on a chilly evening.

I will be grateful to snuggle into bed tonight.  A full, amazing, very tiring weekend around here.   A weekend for which I am very, very grateful.

September 17

I am grateful for resale events and garage sales today, new clothes and toys for my littles AND a clean conscience as I re-use for the environment.

I am grateful for Gram-gram's babysitting service and the gifts of time she gave to Nat and I today.

I am grateful to my children for the way they tackle my legs with hugs and give loud kisses and otherwise make me feel so very loved.

I am grateful to the woman at Flower Child who gave me a free barrette AND gift wrapped my necklace even though she knew I was buying it for myself.  Because she knows mamas need to give themselves gifts now and then.

I am grateful for the sunshine-perfect weather, for the people out on patios grabbing the last bit of summer and drinking it down.  I am grateful for the mobs of children on the playground, even the big kids.  I am grateful for how universally considerate they were of each other as they ran and jumped and clambered.

I am grateful for a precious half hour of time on that playground with my son, nothing competing for my attention.  I am grateful for fast tall slides that made me giggle in spite of myself.

I am grateful for community festivals, for the honest fun they represent, for cheap hot dogs and lemonade served by church groups.

I am grateful for alpacas.

I am grateful for coffee shops and resale shops and danish modern furniture.

I am grateful for perfect Saturdays.

I am grateful that the weekend is not over yet.

September 16

I am grateful for sunny crisp fall evenings, and views of cityscapes and rivers and bridges.

I am grateful for old spaces made new, for history, repurposed.

I am grateful for Drum Corps, all that energy and youth and rhythm; it is contagious.

I am grateful for exuberant children dancing and clapping and running, heedless of  anything in their way.  For their spirit and the smiles they bring to every face that passes by.

I am grateful for public spaces and festival-days and crowds of friendly strangers sharing a place in time.

I am grateful for the Drawing Room, which continues to be the best part of the Ingenuity Festival as far as I am concerned.

I am grateful for patient and flexible kids who accept a dinner of granola bars and goldfish, long car rides through the city, and a late bedtime without complaint, so that we can run off and feel the pulse of our city for an evening, and share it with them.

I am grateful that tomorrow is Saturday and that we have filled it with plans for fun and shopping and maybe even dinner out for Nat and I.  Who needs time to clean, anyways?

I am grateful that I am not trying to entertain the queen this weekend, that's for sure.

September 15

Tonight, its getting personal.  I am naming names. 

I am grateful for the company of the like minded, funny, kind, and brilliant women who shared my table at our Language Arts meeting this evening, for the commiseration and inspiration we shared, for the way they made the long meeting go much faster...Sue, Susan, Leah, Gail... I can try and try to complain about my job but it doesn't get very far, that complaining, once I realize just how lucky I am to work with people like you.

I am grateful for the excellent cooks that I am lucky to call my friends and dinner swap partners.  Tiffany, your pulled-pork it always perfect and Jack and Ivy are eternally grateful for the corn on the cob.  Sarah-- tacos!  Always brilliant!  Delicious, easy, and plenty of meat to keep my kids happy ALLLL week. Melinda, that tortilla casserole was not only easy to dish out and reheat, but it also had some sort of crack in it that made it barely last through next day's lunch.  We're talking sneaking seconds and thirds and slivers of it into the night...

I am really, really grateful that I can cross "menu planning" and "cooking weeknight dinners" off my to do list.  I love dinner swap.

Nat, I am not sure where to begin with the "gratefuls" I feel towards you but let me focus on today:  I am grateful to have this husband and father to my children, the one who spent the day taking them to stimulating places, providing them with fun and messy activities, feeding them nutritious meals. Who was still busy pulling out activities and playing with them when I finally got home at 6.  Who takes care of everything around here, including me.  Who listens and supports unconditionally.

Plus, he's really good looking.

I am grateful I married this one.

I am exceedingly grateful for the women of my book club-- Gayle, Jill, Sarah, Melinda, Melissa, Beth, Caroline-- as they are not only amazing, interesting, smart women but they also have given me the reason to be "reading" (OK, listening to in the car) The Hunger Games, which I am finding to be extraordinary and addicting.  I can't believe I've never read this before.  I also can't tell you how upset I was to find myself at the end of the first download, halfway through my drive home today. 

I am grateful that the second half of the book is being installed on my iPod now.  Can't wait to get in the car tomorrow...

I am grateful, now that I think about it, for my iPod, and for the Christmas money given to me in 2009 which allowed me to spring for a new toy.  I've used it every day since.  Best.  Impulse buy.  Ever.

I am grateful for the crisp fall sunshine that emerged just in time to leave work today.  For the bittersweet ritual of changing out my children's clothing, touching and folding up those summer clothes and the memories that go with them.  Sorting out things to save.  Pulling out and hanging up new clothes in browns and greens and oranges.  Sweaters.  Jackets.  Lists of things to look for at the fall resales.

I am grateful for the fall resales that are starting up.  This weekend!

I am grateful for my mother who watches my children while I feed my addiction at those resales.  When she's not shopping right along with me, that is.  I am grateful that I have inherited her enthusiasm for a bargain and that we can share giddy joy over the perfect outfit, an ideal toy, the money saved and the wonderful things we can provide for the children we love.  I think our enthusiasm is one of the best things about us, mom.  Thanks for giving it to me.

I am grateful that tomorrow is Friday, though the weeks are starting to fly precipitously fast all of a sudden and I think I would be just as grateful for more Thursday, to tell the truth.  Thursday.  Its a pretty good day, you know?

Thanks for listening.  

September 14

I am grateful that I am writing before 10:30 at night. That is is just 9:00 now and the dishes are done and the house is quiet.  Except for the dog snoring beside me.  But I am grateful for this snoring dog beside me.

I am grateful for a quiet day at school during which I went to NO meetings, and actually got to teach my students a bit.

I am grateful for the door in my classroom, for working with groups outside and having fresh air blowing in all day.

I am grateful for corn on the cob and my hilarious children who love it.  Ivy tried to eat it raw. Jack was thrilled to help butter it, roll it, and set the microwave.  They both enjoyed eating it one kernel at a time off of toothpicks.  They are awesome.

I am grateful for documentaries and my son's inquiring little mind; this evening he watched a geologist talk about the formation of Mount Everest with rapt attention for just under an hour.

I am grateful for peanuts and chocolate chips.  I am grateful for iced coffee.  I am grateful for excellent books on tape which make me look forward to my commute.  I am grateful for the fullness of the moments in my life even if it means the inside of the microwave hasn't been cleaned in a long, long while.  What's a little grime when you can be helping your daughter learn to somersault on the bed, instead?

I am grateful for the chance to affirm that yes, I've got my priorities straight.

September 13

I am grateful for  a lot today.  It's been a good day, actually.  A really good day.

I am grateful that I go to take Jack to his first day of Pre-K, to tell him to smile for his pictures on the front step and in front of the St Paul's sign, to watch him excitedly show me his name tag, the blocks, the clips he liked playing with at Meet the Teacher.   To meet, albeit briefly, the other children he'll be spending his days with, to see the space they'll share, carefully prepped and abuzz with emotion from the 14 little people and their parents all crowded in. I am grateful for that moment, watching Nat come out with him towards the car when (sleeping Ivy and) I came to pick him up, the huge grin on his face, all pink from outdoor play.  "I LOVED it, Mom!!"

I love him.  And I am so grateful for him.  So grateful that he loves learning and school and is confident, that we left him with his teacher with a "see you later!" and nary a backward glance, knowing he'd be fine.  Grateful that he is finding friends in his class and joy in his days.

I am grateful that I had my dentist appointment today, that I have sick time to take a half day off work, that I could finagle it to make this afternoon happen.  Even if it meant a root canal to fix my broken tooth.

I am grateful for novacaine.

I am grateful for dinner swap meals that serve up in 5 minutes.

I am grateful for the West Shore Chorale, for the luscious layers of Mendelsohn chords, for the sensible harmonics of Haydn, for the pure endorphins of joining my voice with others to make music.

I am grateful for walks to the library, for the easy comfort of our neighborhood, for greetings and chats with the people and dogs we know.

I am grateful for a sunny-breezy evening and a pink cloud-layered sky.

I am grateful for CityFresh, just for its existence, even if we didn't buy shares this summer.  Just seeing those tables laden with produce, people and dogs and children milling about with their reusable bags and their camaraderie.  Reminding me of why I love our neighborhood.

I am grateful for my children who love to play together, all of a sudden.  For jumping on the bed time, for playing "baby" with stuffed toys and blankies.  For the way Ivy ran laps around the children's area in the library, her sleep sheep wrapped tightly in a burp cloth and clutched to her chest, determined feet stomping, a girl on a mission, 3 times around before she came in and set her "baby"  ("bee-- beeeee?" as she says it) carefully on one of the giant giraffe-shaped floor puzzle pieces.

I love her.  And I am grateful that she is a happy and opinionated and interesting little girl who never gives us a dull moment.  As Grandma Gertie consoled my mother years ago-- "You wouldn't want a boring child, would you??"

Nope, I wouldn't.

But I would take more days like today.

September 11 and 12

I am grateful today for your overlooking the fact that I kind of missed my post yesterday.

[sheepish grim]

oops.

Yesterday, of course, I was reminded all day to be grateful that none of my friends or loved ones were touched in any way by the events of September 11, 2001. To be grateful that there have been no repeats of that fateful day. To be grateful for the freedoms and abundance and comfort we have here in this country that is a pretty amazing place to live, even with the political quagmire that currently infests our capitol.

Last night, and again at dinner time tonight, I was grateful for Dinner Swap.  Not a moment too soon!  I love Dinner Swap.  The ready made meals are an important part of that love, but so is the  evening of chatting with my momma friends, finding our way down this road of parenthood and leaning on each other the whole time.  I am grateful for the amazing people in my life.  And I am grateful they are all good cooks!

Tonight-- well, tonight I am grateful that the house is quiet and the dishes are done and I am 5 minutes of blogging away from getting into bed.

I am grateful for a great workout in spinning class this morning. And for the chance for a quiet shower in the pretty locker rooms, with no toddlers barging in on me.  Practically a "spa" experience, and it almost makes 5am worthwhile.

I am grateful for the sunny weather and the chance to get out in it for a few minutes during our fire dril today.  I am grateful for how much my kids love their bath.  I am grateful for the love of these children for the way Jack's eyes lit up when I said I'd be able to take him to pre-K tomorow.

I am grateful to the stars which have aligned to put my dentist's appointment in the exact day and time to allow me to go to my son's first day of school any only take a half day off work.

I am grateful for all the ways the stars have aligned in my life.  Even when I am tired.

September 10th

I am grateful for sunny days that redeem rainy mornings.

For McDonald's softserve and sandy shoes, for iced chai shared in Public Square.

I am grateful for the free smoothie we got at dinner.

I am grateful that Nat did the vacuuming for me.

I am grateful absolute steals at the thrift store (Keen sandals for Jack, $1.  Skechers shoes for Ivy, $1. A bottomless crate of Hotwheels paraphernalia, $8.  Good stuff, I'm telling ya.)

I am grateful for children who went to bed easily and toured downtown patiently and entertained us all day long.

I am grateful that it is only 9:45 and that I can sleep in tomorrow because I still have a lot to do before I sleep...

I am grateful for how much I laughed today.

September 9th

I am grateful that today is Friday. TGIF seems more meaningful than ever this year, somehow.

 I am grateful for little running naked baby feet, the sounds of 4 happy yelling children chasing down our hall with a dog woo-wooing along behind.

 I am grateful for simple pasta dinners shared with friends around our too-small table, baby bellies plastered with noodles and sauce, while we talk politics in short bursts over their heads, pausing to wipe hands and pass drinks and pick up dropped forks.

 I am grateful for sunshine peeking out from behind a cloudy week.

 For sharing books with my boy.

 For fun events to look forward to this weekend.

For having a planning period AND a lunch today at work.

For kind notes from colleagues I've only just met and hugs from old friends who miss working with me; affirmation of one's value and place in the world is so very revitalizing.  So is being able to reciprocate.

I am grateful for the chance to do that.




(sidenote:  next 30 days idea-- a note of affirmation to a different person every day.  wouldn't that just make the world a better place!)

September 8th

I am grateful that tomorrow is Friday. I am grateful for the crickets in the quiet night outside, for the cloudy purple sky shining through the gaps in the silhouette trees, for my son who thrilled in the beauty of the dark when we stepped out on the porch just before his bedtime to mail some thank-you notes. I am grateful for the archaic tradition of thank-you notes, for the moment of pause and reflection and kinetic connection with a person who cared enough to give. I am grateful for the chance to teach my children how to write them. Even if they are on the back of photo cards rather than inside fine stationary. One must make some concessions to the modern age... I am grateful for the chance to be in my classroom, with my students, all day long today. It was fun. Turns out, I don't mind teaching. Its just the other stuff that gets in the way... I am grateful for my husband who presented me with two napping children and taco salad dinner on the way, when I got home. I am grateful for an evening together as a family and strangely grateful for our crazy fall schedule, which is serving to only intensity my gratitude for my husband. I am grateful for graham crackers dipped in milk.

September 7th

Today I may be too tired to be grateful. We'll see.

I'm grateful for:

Chic-Fil-A, that ridiculously named and over-Christian establishment with the ridiculously good chicken and customer service, offering a one-stop evening plan wherein my children actually EAT something AND get to run and play in tubes. Add in the bonus of running into two seldom-seen friends while we were there... I am grateful for that one, smooth, enjoyable hour of my day.

I am grateful for my son, grateful that he is a boy who responds to a loud and in-your-face older child's behavior by calmly, clearly saying, " I don't like when you do that."  I would be more grateful if said older child had respected my son's request, but I am still pretty damn proud.

I am grateful that my children, in addition to be lovable individuals in their own right, are becoming real siblings all of a sudden.  Jack helps her and plays with her and seeks out her company in his games; Ivy listens to him.  Sometimes.  I would be more grateful if their emerging sibling relationship did NOT include yelling matches and grabbing each other's hands and arms, but I am still pretty damn pleased with them.  I complimented Jack tonight, on how he helped his sister and he said, "Yeah, I did a big brother way."  Yeah you did, buddy.

Have I mentioned I am grateful for him?

I am grateful for books on tape and a quiet commute to start and end long days.

I am grateful for spinning class and how it makes 5am worth it, at least once its over.

I am grateful for the blessing of a really excellent substitute teacher to cover my classroom while I attend meeting after meeting after *^%$#^&* meeting.  I am grateful that my students still seem happy to see me in the brief moments I have been in my room this week.

I am grateful to have my job, in spite of all this.

Somehow I have managed to turn a gratitude journal post into a bit of a vent session.  But I am grateful to have this place to let off some steam and refocus.

And I am grateful that a bed and a new day tomorrow await.

September 6th

Today I am working hard to be grateful.

I am grateful for:

New babies heading into this world in January and February, and all of the excitement they bring, the bits of joy and anticipation and the coming-together that happens when a bunch of women work together and then get to coo and kvetch about pregnancy and newborns.  The new bonds that come from shared motherhood.  I am grateful that I get to welcome some new friends into that fold.  And grateful for their healthy babies-to-be, their uneventful pregnancies.  I am grateful to be counted in their support system.

I am grateful for food provided before curriculum night, with the chance to share some pretty solid pulled pork and the company of my colleagues.

I am grateful for all the opportunities that have come, and continue to come, to find unity and strength and new friendships through our shared frustration.  It turns out that I work with some pretty amazing people. It turns out we are never alone.

I am grateful for a husband and a mother and that network of love that allows me to work a 14 hour day knowing my children are secure and happy in my absence.

I am grateful for a night-time nursing and snuggle with my daughter, for her soft hands and kissable hair and utter contentment in my arms.

For my dog who knows how to ask me to sit on the couch with her, who says so much without words, who is a true companion and not to be taken for granted.  I am grateful for all pet dogs and the opportunity they give their people, to experience a totally pure kind of love.  Even if a dog's life is too short.  I am grateful for each moment with my girl and hoping for 15 years with her too....

For a quiet house and a school bag in the car and connections with far off friends over the internet.  I  am grateful for Facebook, silly addictive thing it is, for the glimpses I get into the lives of people I love.  Just because I don't see them in person, does not diminish how glad I am to have each of them present in my life.

I am grateful for friends.  I am grateful for time.  I am grateful for the chance to sit with my feet up for a few moments.  I am grateful to be home.

September 5th

I am grateful:

For evening walks in the fall-soon air with just my dog for company.
For my dog, who is the best dog in the universe.  For her constant loyalty and her soft walk next to me, her eyes on me, following cues; for her floppy curly ears and the compliments she inspires; for her gentle nature and the trust I place in her.  I love that dog.

For friends who fit us like cozy sweaters, who we don't have to clean house for.  Who bring us apple cake.
I am grateful for apple cake.

For three little girls who play together on the slide while we drink our coffee.  For the big boy who helps them down from the ladder when they need it.  Who declares "Its a perfect time to light a fire" and relishes each toasted mini-marshmallow.

For chilly dusky hours when a fire feels great.

For scented candles.

For three day weekends.  Have I mentioned how much I love three day weekends?

For teamwork with the kids and alone time too; for sharing the load with the laundry and dishes and actually pulling off a full dinner for 8 tonight.  For delicious grilled chicken and salad, for the abundance of food, for coffee with cream, and the blessing of time to enjoy it all.

September 4th

Today I am grateful...

For chocolate Rice Krispie treats.
For picnics at Rocky River Park and my dog chasing through the waves. For random driftwood teepees and my two kids going down the tunnel slide together, all a-giggle.
For new necklaces and easy mornings with both parents home.
For early-Sunday quiet walks through our neighborhood, just the girls and I; the houses I never tire of, the sidewalk gardens and porches and color; the comfort of walking this same familiar path.
For napping kids and peaceful moments and time to talk and dream together.
For three day weekends.  Oh, I am grateful for three day weekends. This is the way life should be....

September 3rd

Today, I am grateful...

For the sunshine today and the heady, heavenly calm of the Botanical Gardens. For eating out on a hot day and not having to do any dishes.  For peach iced tea and iced coffee and an air conditioned car. For the glory of a hot, hot, still-summer day, on a Saturday, in September....
For my wonderful husband who mopped up the spilled Rice Krispies without a second thought.
For my children and their little blond, good-smelling heads.
For the way Ivy snuggles her doll with that smug, cat-who-ate-the-canary grin. For the way she says "hi!" and makes the rounds at restaurants.  For the way she kisses us with a giant "Mah!"
For Jack and his enthusiasm for learning and his sweet voice and the fact that he forgives me when I yell.
For my hair which looks better when its humid than when its not.
For having no plans for a day.
For pipe-dreams and creativity sparked by the beauty of a slate-roofed Tudor retail space for sale.  For the fact that, tiredness and frayed nerves and lack of time and semi-single-parenthood aside, Nat and I can still fall headlong into our dreaming at a moments notice.
I am grateful for that.
For what I have and for what I have yet to reach.

5 minutes up.  See you all tomorrow.

A day late and a dollar short...

That's me.

Forgive me for starting a day later than planned.  The beginning of this school year surprised me with its suddenness and ferocity.

But here we are, September.  And sometimes what you need to deal with the suddenness and ferocity of life, is a 30 day focus.

I'd almost decided this morning, on the goal of saving money somehow, every day. Goodness knows we could use some saved money right about now.

But.  This week has had its share of minor adversity, some frustrations at work, meetings mostly, which have left me a little emotional, a little raw.

And alongside that adversity has come a swell of support, from surprising corners, a realization that that in unity is strength and that we're never alone.

And I've been profoundly grateful.

So my 30 days?  Gratitude.  Five minutes, timed, each night, to commit to paper everything from that day for which I am grateful.  Five minutes to focus on the positives alone, on the negatives only insomuch as they might, too, make me grateful.  Five minutes to reflect and realize the beauty and favor that I have in my life, an appreciate it deeply.

Saving money will just have to wait til October.

Ideas

Here are some thoughts towards my next 30 days.  Any other ideas?  Looking for feedback here, people...

* Spend a half an hour a day learning French (or some other language) during my commute

* Write a poem every day.

* Write (and send) a letter to someone every day

* Write a letter to a business (compliment or complaint) every day

* Keep a "gratitude journal", every day

* Drink 64 oz of water, every day

What it's all about...

This post is actually about 33 days late.

It was that long ago when Nat told me about the story he'd seen on Tedtalks, which put forth the idea that a person can do anything for 30 days, and that if you do it, if you stick to it and do something you've wanted to do, every day, for 30 days, those 30 days will be more memorable than if you had not.

I liked that idea. A lot.

Having entered my thirties simultaneously with motherhood, I have become acutely aware of the way days can blur into weeks and the years can slip by almost unnoticed. I have plenty of moments with which to mark the time, of course. Baby milestones and birthdays, vacations and parties, the start of school, the end of school, quarters, test days, weekends... Somehow those markers serve only to speed up the passage of these years, though, and the individual days in between? Gone.

So I latched onto this idea of making life more memorable, 30 days at a time. And I jumped right in with my first 30 days: Between July 8^th and August 8^th I went for a run every day. (Well, every day except 3, but who's counting?) Vacation plus my wonderful supportive husband let me have an hour every morning to go trudge through city streets or along country roads, an hour of increasing my physical fitness but also an hour of “think time”. Plenty of reflection on life in general, on running itself, on the quality of light reflecting off the lake. At the end of my 30 days I have increased my run distance from two to four miles, I have maintained my weight loss without maintaining my diet, and I have decided to start this blog. Someplace to put my reflections, and something to hold me accountable as I go forward. I make no promises to post every day (that's a 30 day goal, right there...) but I do vow to post an occasional update and some unedited musings from time to time.

If that's not enough to keep you coming back for more, I don't know what is.

The start of school is looming and so I am going to give myself a little lead-time before my next 30 days. How about September 1^st? And what should I do? Ideas, anyone? What would YOU do, every day, for a month? And how would it change your life?