One hour and counting til a New Year begins.
It's both appropriate and a little daunting to talk about resolutions on here. A space devoted to resolutions all year long, to reflection, to change.
On this last night of the year I wonder as I write-- have I done it justice? Have I reflected, changed?
It feels like 2012 was gone in a flash, as if very little has changed even amidst the changes that have come (new job, new PhD in the house, ever-growing little ones).
It was a good year, don't get me wrong. Delightful in its smoothness. Full of pleasant moments, sunshine, laughter. Many beautiful photographs were taken and memories stored up in them. Travel, festivals, museums, school, lakes, children, friends. If I reflect on it for a moment, there was almost a surfeit of happiness and happening wrapped up in this years. A bit of a blur at times...
Part of my goal in this Thirty Days project was to make life memorable, to have goals and projects and alterations to the fabric of my life that would stand out in memory, freeze in time, last in that way that great life changes can last. I am not sure if I accomplished that goal in 2012.
And so, as I look ahead to 2013, I am seeking to answer the question: How can I make change in my life, and the lives of others, that will leave a mark? A mark in memory, on the world. How can I live this year with intention, enjoying the ride, the sunshine, the little moments-- and reaching for something a little larger, too?
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of dreams, these aspirations I've got for the way I want my world to be. I can spend hours (days, weeks) visualizing the house on the lake, the dream kitchen... but as I sit here, 36 years old, there are still some gaps in the dream-future. Still, somehow, I am not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I can see the shape of who I wish to be but the details are fuzzy.
In 2013 I'd like to solidify my dreams, and then orient my life so that each thing I do is moving me closer to their reality.
There's a resolution for ya.
In the meantime, there are some steps I CAN take, towards the dreams I know already:
1. I'd like to be in fit and fabulous shape before I turn 40. Ten, maybe fifteen pounds lighter, leaner, in shape, my body working as a healthy and smooth machine ready to tackle whatever age may bring. To that end, in 2013 I will be intentional in my eating. I will eat food that helps my body achieve health. I will find ways to be active, to challenge my fitness and grow my strength.
2. I want to have a beautiful, open kitchen with a view of a lake out the window. I want to be able to furnish this house with rich and lovely fabrics and furniture. I want to live each day in this comfortable, lovely space. To that end, in 2013 I will be intentional with my money. I will not spend it on fruitless items. I will save money towards bringing my dream house into reality.
3. I visualize myself as a person who creates beauty and good in the world. I want to be the person who goes out of their way for others, who creates spaces and details and moments and encounters that bring joy and peace to others. To that end, in 2013 I will practice small ways of being kind, other-centric, detail oriented and considerate.
4. I see my family in 5 years, my children growing tall, myself mothering them with patience, creativity, and joy. I see my family in 20 years, gathered together, my children happy to be back at home. To that end, in 2013 I will work at being the best mother and wife I can be, patient and gentle and intentional in my parenting choices. I will work to create a structure for my family, a safe space for us to love and grow. I will not take a moment of our lives together for granted.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The past week...
Christmas has taken over a bit around here. To my credit, life is still revolving around the spirit of giving-- just the focus has been on my family, my friends, my students.
I've made myself a nice little list of places to donate my things. I've successfully sent off a bag of food to a Food Bank drive at school. I've written two more love letters to strangers, and left them in public places in the hopes they'll find their way to the person who needs them most.
I've also baked cookies, bought gifts for my children (but not TOO many!), wrapped presents, wrote out cards, and generally devoted my waking hours to the preparations of the season.
So, I am choosing to be OK with this thirty days going on a bit of a hiatus.
To be continued.
After Christmas.
I've made myself a nice little list of places to donate my things. I've successfully sent off a bag of food to a Food Bank drive at school. I've written two more love letters to strangers, and left them in public places in the hopes they'll find their way to the person who needs them most.
I've also baked cookies, bought gifts for my children (but not TOO many!), wrapped presents, wrote out cards, and generally devoted my waking hours to the preparations of the season.
So, I am choosing to be OK with this thirty days going on a bit of a hiatus.
To be continued.
After Christmas.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
December 13
December 13:
Today I wrote two love letters.
I got in on day 10 and 11 of the 12-day letter writing challenge from moreloveletters.com.
Better late than never, right?
It felt wonderful, mailing off those two notecards full of affirmations for strangers. It was fun to write them, using several colors of felt-tip pens and little doodles and hearts. And, it took all of about 10 minutes.
I could get into doing this more often.
Love letters? Easy. You know what is unexpectedly difficult? Donating my stuff. I've now gathered and collected and set in the foyer and back of the van: a bag of children's shoes, two bags of children's books, a bag of pantry food items, a large box of nice toys, and a bag of baby linens.
No one wants them.
Well, that's not exactly true. I could call up the Veterans and they'd pick it all up for me. Or we could run it right down to Goodwill. And I know these wonderful organizations would put my cast-off items to work, selling them piecemeal in thrift stores where the income would, bit by bit, go to help people.
And chances are good that's exactly what will happen.
But what I WANTED to happen, what I had planned for this week of sorting and sifting and giving away, was for these items to go straight to people who could use them. These baby clothes-- right to little ones in a home for families in crisis. These toys-- right into the hands of children who will play with them. These books-- right into the homes of little ones who can read them. I don't want anyone to have to pay for these things. I want to GIVE these things away. I want them to do the most good they can.
I spent my lunch hour today trying to find an organization to help me do this, using a handy database published by (of course!) the Solid Waster Department. Turns out, there are an impressive number of organizations reaching out to a staggering variety of people right here in our county. Turns out, the need is heartbreaking and real. And, it turns out, all of these amazing organizations specify "new items only." Or money, course.
I am beginning to think uncharitable thoughts about these organizations.
Nonetheless I will soldier on, and have given myself the task tomorrow of contacting a list of organizations that seemed like possibilities. Maybe I can talk them into taking this stuff.
Or maybe I will just walk around handing out bags of toys and books. Who can say?
Today I wrote two love letters.
I got in on day 10 and 11 of the 12-day letter writing challenge from moreloveletters.com.
Better late than never, right?
It felt wonderful, mailing off those two notecards full of affirmations for strangers. It was fun to write them, using several colors of felt-tip pens and little doodles and hearts. And, it took all of about 10 minutes.
I could get into doing this more often.
Love letters? Easy. You know what is unexpectedly difficult? Donating my stuff. I've now gathered and collected and set in the foyer and back of the van: a bag of children's shoes, two bags of children's books, a bag of pantry food items, a large box of nice toys, and a bag of baby linens.
No one wants them.
Well, that's not exactly true. I could call up the Veterans and they'd pick it all up for me. Or we could run it right down to Goodwill. And I know these wonderful organizations would put my cast-off items to work, selling them piecemeal in thrift stores where the income would, bit by bit, go to help people.
And chances are good that's exactly what will happen.
But what I WANTED to happen, what I had planned for this week of sorting and sifting and giving away, was for these items to go straight to people who could use them. These baby clothes-- right to little ones in a home for families in crisis. These toys-- right into the hands of children who will play with them. These books-- right into the homes of little ones who can read them. I don't want anyone to have to pay for these things. I want to GIVE these things away. I want them to do the most good they can.
I spent my lunch hour today trying to find an organization to help me do this, using a handy database published by (of course!) the Solid Waster Department. Turns out, there are an impressive number of organizations reaching out to a staggering variety of people right here in our county. Turns out, the need is heartbreaking and real. And, it turns out, all of these amazing organizations specify "new items only." Or money, course.
I am beginning to think uncharitable thoughts about these organizations.
Nonetheless I will soldier on, and have given myself the task tomorrow of contacting a list of organizations that seemed like possibilities. Maybe I can talk them into taking this stuff.
Or maybe I will just walk around handing out bags of toys and books. Who can say?
Monday, December 10, 2012
December 8, 9, and 10
8th: Gathered children's outgrown shoes to donate to Soles for Soles, excited to send them off into the world, straight to little feet who need them. Ran out of time to drop them off. Bag of little shoes wait patiently in my trunk as we speak. I am thinking by Friday...
9th: In retrospect, our Second Sunday Soup could have been a food drive. Sadly, because I have no forethought and a lot of changing to do still, it was not. We just ate and drank and were merry, enjoying the sounds of running and laughing children, cocooned in our nest of plenty.
Don't you just love it when a Thirty Days turns out to be a month long guilt trip?
Note to self-- Ask guests to bring a food item in January.
10th: The children and I filled a good size box with outgrown and unwanted toys. They're still fine toys, all of them. So much, we have so much... Now, off to find them a home where they can do the most good.
If I had time and web design skills, I would start a website called Do the Most Good, a one stop shop for individuals to target their non-monetary donations directly to people, where their time and possessions can do the most good, right away. I would like to find that website right now, really, I don't need to start it and get the credit or anything. I just want to send these books, this food, these shoes, these toys on their way sooner rather than later...
Future giving days may include:
Donating blood (thanks, Melinda, for the nudge)
Writing some of those love letters
The "Be an Elf" program through the Post Office, where one directly answers a letter to Santa with a wish come true (oh the joy!)
Any other ideas?
9th: In retrospect, our Second Sunday Soup could have been a food drive. Sadly, because I have no forethought and a lot of changing to do still, it was not. We just ate and drank and were merry, enjoying the sounds of running and laughing children, cocooned in our nest of plenty.
Don't you just love it when a Thirty Days turns out to be a month long guilt trip?
Note to self-- Ask guests to bring a food item in January.
10th: The children and I filled a good size box with outgrown and unwanted toys. They're still fine toys, all of them. So much, we have so much... Now, off to find them a home where they can do the most good.
If I had time and web design skills, I would start a website called Do the Most Good, a one stop shop for individuals to target their non-monetary donations directly to people, where their time and possessions can do the most good, right away. I would like to find that website right now, really, I don't need to start it and get the credit or anything. I just want to send these books, this food, these shoes, these toys on their way sooner rather than later...
Future giving days may include:
Donating blood (thanks, Melinda, for the nudge)
Writing some of those love letters
The "Be an Elf" program through the Post Office, where one directly answers a letter to Santa with a wish come true (oh the joy!)
Any other ideas?
Friday, December 7, 2012
December 5, 6, and 7
5th: Gathered a bag of food from our pantry and two bags of books from Jack's shelves. Spent an hour trying to figure out where one takes a bag of food to put it to best use in this community. FoodBank only gave me suggestions for how to organize a drive. A noble thought but I am not up for organizing a drive, not this month. Anyone know where one can take a bag of food in this city??
6th: Gave spare change to the "bikes for kids" fund at Rick Case, while paying for my oil change. Thought to myself that during my "random acts of kindness " month I may pay for the next person's oil change. Because it would be great, wouldn't it, to go to pay for that little, routine expense and find it already taken care of?
7th: Donated unused toiletries from my classroom stash to the FoodBank supply drive at school. Got to wear a little sticker all day for doing so.
I've also discovered a lovely free way to give some loving care to the world. Have you heard of moreloveletters.com? I heard the founder of this site give a TEDtalk on her work and I was hooked. (by the way, the TEDtalk app is my new obsession...) Now, just to find the time to handwrite love letters to people in need...
6th: Gave spare change to the "bikes for kids" fund at Rick Case, while paying for my oil change. Thought to myself that during my "random acts of kindness " month I may pay for the next person's oil change. Because it would be great, wouldn't it, to go to pay for that little, routine expense and find it already taken care of?
7th: Donated unused toiletries from my classroom stash to the FoodBank supply drive at school. Got to wear a little sticker all day for doing so.
I've also discovered a lovely free way to give some loving care to the world. Have you heard of moreloveletters.com? I heard the founder of this site give a TEDtalk on her work and I was hooked. (by the way, the TEDtalk app is my new obsession...) Now, just to find the time to handwrite love letters to people in need...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
December 4
On the giving front today:
Donated a box of diapers for the giving tree at my mom's church. Also talked with her about an opportunity for giving some time, rather than money. If we are around at all between Christmas and New Years, their church houses homeless/struggling families for a week. We could go play with kids, hold babies, talk with people.
This sounds more like it. And not just because I am going to go broke if I keep giving money for the next 26 days. Because reaching out is the key. People, connection, hope, care-- more so than things, these are what we need to survive. To grow. To change.
In what ways can my actions help others be more powerful in their own lives?
And in the meantime, what do I already have in my house, that I can give away? How can it do the most good?
Goal for the rest of the week: Help others, without bankrupting myself.
Donated a box of diapers for the giving tree at my mom's church. Also talked with her about an opportunity for giving some time, rather than money. If we are around at all between Christmas and New Years, their church houses homeless/struggling families for a week. We could go play with kids, hold babies, talk with people.
This sounds more like it. And not just because I am going to go broke if I keep giving money for the next 26 days. Because reaching out is the key. People, connection, hope, care-- more so than things, these are what we need to survive. To grow. To change.
In what ways can my actions help others be more powerful in their own lives?
And in the meantime, what do I already have in my house, that I can give away? How can it do the most good?
Goal for the rest of the week: Help others, without bankrupting myself.
December 1, 2, 3
December is off to a fast start, isn't it? Six rubbermaid totes full of Christmas decor have exploded around our house, and the kitchen is littered with birthday cakes, half eaten and in process (the joys of two birthdays, 4 days apart).
But I am, I think, off to a good start on my month of giving.
To recap:
Saturday-- the children and I counted out the money in our giving jar and chose an amount to give to the Salvation Army. We successfully and happily did so, greeted enthusiastically by the world's cheeriest bell ringer.
We then proceeded to leave the grocery store 2 minutes later when my happy, giving children turned into greed-fueled monsters begging for more coins at the quarter vending machines. Without shopping.
It takes some time to change into a giving mindset, obviously.
Saturday evening we enjoyed the Light Up Lakewood Festival, wandering in the road on Detroit, sipping free hot cocoa. We also got started on our Christmas shopping by finding some lovely items which also raise funds for a local organization helping adults with disabilities. Two birds. Score.
Sunday-- Gift of music given to an auditorium of strangers! :) It was our WSC concert day and time and ideas were in short supply. While I am not sure I took any action, I did proceed through my day with other-focused consciousness
Monday-- We prepared for Nat's birthday, the kids and I. More good lessons in giving. "We are shopping for Daddy tonight. No, we're not shopping for toys. Remember, we're not shopping for toys. Remember...?"
Then... inspiration! Toys for Tots! Of course. We shopped for a toy-- and gave it away.
I may take them to do this once a week.
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