Say it now

A former colleague of mine, who has been battling cancer for years, died last night.  She truly was a light in the world, and I am not just saying that because its what you say when someone dies.  She, really, truly was amazing-- always happy, full of energy, unfailingly kind.  My heart is heavy today even though I have not seen her in a long time.  At least, not in person. I have been lucky enough to keep up with her on Facebook, to read her status updates and admire photos of her enjoying every ounce of life with her beautiful family over these past few years.  And, most recently, to revel in the wonderful, love-filled posts crowding her wall as family and friends and co-workers from all facets of her life poured their hearts out to her, keeping her company in virtual form during her last days in the hospital.  All these stories of students she'd turned around, crazy-fun times with friends, the little things people love about her.  Visiting her Facebook page was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.  I know.  How is any part of this beautiful, you ask?  Most of it is not.  Cancer sucks.  And this wonderful woman-- mother, teacher, sister, friend-- should be busy building her life, not finished with it.  And it is not right and it makes me angry and so very sad.   

But it was beautiful because these people, these friends and family, parents and students whose lives she touched-- they said these amazing these to her, they brought the truth, they put the words out into the world while she was alive.   So she knew it.  So she could feel it.  So that some of the light she gave to the world bounced back to her and glowed before her as she faced the darkness.   They didn't wait til after, didn't wait for their truth to become platitudes.  They told her when it mattered most and that was beautiful and important and right.

Say what you will about Facebook.  In the last week I've witnessed digital space becoming sacred space, virtual reality wrapping people tight across miles.  Inside my heavy heart there is gratitude sparkling, for the ease with which we can touch each other and make they world a softer place.  We are lucky indeed.

And so for March, in honor of Barb and everyone who knew her, I will use my thirty days to take advantage of social media, to use it for good.  To say it now.  Every day I will post to someone in my life, share a memory,  tell a story.  Let them know just how perfect they are, how important.  And let the whole world, know too.  I will not wait until they are in their last days.  I will say it now.

We need to tell people why we love them, today.  When it matters.   Without letting another too-busy moment go by, without another excuse.  Don't you think?